Divrei Torah Vayigash
Torah Table of Contents
A Startling Revelation, the Imrei Aish, Parshas Vayigash 5733 Serving HaShem - A Many Faceted Gem, the Divrei Yisroel Speak Softly, Then, You Won't Need a Big Stick, the Divrei Yisroel Parshas Vayigash, From Reb Motti Rosen z"l
based on a ma'amar by the Imrei Aish, Parshas Vayigash 5733
"And Yosef said to his brothers, 'I am Yosef. Is my father still alive?' They could not respond to him, for they were startled by his face." [Breishis, 45:3]
The Imrei Aish points to several difficulties in this verse. Firstly, the brothers had not returned home since the last time that Yosef had asked them this question. Secondly, since Yaakov was the father of all the brothers, and Yosef had just revealed himself as one of them, it would be more appropriate to ask, "Is our father still alive?" In addition, this question, repeated several times, is itself inappropriate. This is because a person has a chezkas chaim, a presumption that once it is known that he is alive, he remains so [unless we're told otherwise]. Finally, why does the verse say that the brothers were startled "by his face" [or "presence"]? Why not merely say that "they were startled by him"?
The Imrei Aish resolves these questions with yet another question. How is it, he asks, that after such prolonged negotiations with Yosef, that the brothers never recognized him? Even though our Sages note [Yevamos, 88a] that when Yosef was sold into slavery he was beardless, but when his brothers encountered him as the "viceroy" of Egypt he had a beard; this would only explain why they did not recognize him at first glance, even though he recognized them. [The Rosh Yeshiva of Modzitz added that since Yosef's appearance was similar to that of Yaakov - who had a beard - they surely should have recognized him as a family member, at least!]
Indeed, says the Imrei Aish, Yosef's appearance was similar to that of Yaakov, but at this point in time [while Yosef was posing as the "viceroy" of Egypt], Hashem removed this similarity, so that the brothers wouldn't recognize him, and they could have remorse over selling him into slavery. Perhaps with this, at least partially, their sin of selling him could be atoned for. Therefore, they didn't recognize him even after such a long time.
However, Yosef HaTzaddik, in his extreme humbleness, thought that his resemblance to his father had vanished because of his own sins. Therefore, the verse relates [earlier], "he washed his face" [Breishis, 43:31]. That is, he "washed" [cleansed] himself with teshuva [repentance], "his face," because of the change in his face.
Afterwards, upon revealing himself to his brothers, his resemblance to his father
returned. He thus asked them, "Is my father still alive?" That is, do I still resemble
him - is my face like his? This explains why he asks in the singular ["my father"], and
why he repeats the question - for it is a different question altogether. And finally,
that's why the brothers were "startled by his face," for his face had changed [back] to
resemble that of his father Yaakov once more.
Translated by Reb Yitzchak Dorfman of Yerushalayim, a Modzitzer Chassid
Based on the Divrei Yisroel, Parshas Vayiggash
"... Vayomer Aleihem, Al Tirgezu BaDerech. ....And (Yosef) said to them, don't quarrel on the Way." (Breishis 45:24)
One must wonder what Yosef is trying to tell his brothers, "don't quarrel on the way". One would think that they were nearly delirious in happiness at this point - being saved, finding Yosef alive, and with everything else, their faith in HaShem firmly renewed. The Divrei Yisrael of Modzitz quotes a famous insight from Rebbe Yechezkel of Kuzmir that can help us to see the inner message of Yosef's warning.
"Don't quarrel on the Way... of Chassidus, in how you will serve HaShem", explains the Kuzmirer. If you select a particular way of Chassidus to serve HaShem, don't start a quarrel with anyone else about it, or why aren't they following your chosen path. There are myriads of ways to serve HaShem effectively, and all Torah-true ways are acceptable.
The Divrei Yisrael adds an explanation as to why this, of all things, is Yosef's message to his brothers:
When the brothers had their discussion/argument on what to do with Yosef - kill him, put him into the pit, or to sell him and ship him off to Egypt, this discussion wasn't based on simple physical needs or desires. It clearly reflected their approach in serving HaShem - was Yosef guilty of a crime that deserved death, and could they actively or passively mete out the punishment. What was their responsibility at this point? Thus, Yosef now has a valid reminder to them - don't start a new argument on how to serve HaShem properly - each person can find the proper way for himself. The numerous ways are like the many glistening sides of a fine gemstone, no single facet is "right". For the fate of senselessly rejecting other Ways to Serve HaShem is severe indeed.
Translated by Reb Eliezer Weger of Rechovot, a Modzitzer Chasid
Based on the Divrei Yisroel
"Vayigash Eilav Yehuda, Vayomer Bi Adoni, Yedaber Na Avdecha Davar B'Oznei Adoni, V'Al Yichar Apcha B'Avdecha... And Yehuda approached him and said, 'Please sir, allow your servant (me) to say a word/thing [directly] into your ear, and you won't get angry with your servant'..."(Bereshis 44:18)
The Divrei Yisroel shares with us a keen insight into human nature, showing us how to successfully admonish a friend, even in the most difficult situations.
The situation in our pasuk is certainly a tough one - the brothers have been taken back to Mitzrayim, with Yosef's goblet found in Binyomin's sack. His previous accusations seem to be well-founded, putting the brothers at a terrible disadvantage. How in the world can Yehuda succeed in straightening things out? How can one accused of being an accomplice to theft from the second highest official in Egypt succeed in pointing out his accuser's error, and change his opinion?
The Divrei Yisroel asks 2 questions:
The Divrei Yisroel explains that when one gets angry at another person, it is usually rooted in the fact that they have a disagreement, and he feels that he Is certainly right, and that his friend's claim is unjust. His sense of propriety and justice are offended. But, on the other hand, if he would only entertain the thought that just maybe the other person is in fact correct, any anger felt will quickly disappear. His own sense of justice is no longer offended, and he is able to accept the situation more rationally.
Yehuda personally had an experience to demonstrate this in his own life - with Tamar. He was livid with anger when word got to him that she was expecting out of wedlock, to the point that he gave orders for her to be put to death. But the moment that he was willing to hear her message, and recognized the signs that showed that he in fact was the father, his anger immediately subsided, and he declared "tzadka mimeni" - she in fact is right (the phrasing of which could also imply - "she is more right that I am").
This very lesson is what Yehuda wanted to share with Yosef. This is the "word" that he wanted to whisper to Yosef. He approached him, wanted to speak nearby and quietly - directly into his ear. His message is "Bi Adoni" - literally Bi means "please". But it also means "in/from me". Yehuda says to Yosef, "look at me, at what happened to me". Yehuda shares his personal story, seeking to create a crack within Yosef's wall of anger. As if to say - "If you will learn from my own mistake, you will see that there really is another side to this issue. And once you consider that, your anger will disappear." And of course, the best way for Yehuda to accomplish this is to share a personal story, not a lecture or conjecture. A personal story establishes a rapport, easing him into the acceptance process as well.
(A Jew often finds himself in a situation when he wants to help another avoid a mistake, and at times, even to reprove the other person. How we go about doing this is critical to determine the success of the effort. Even in the tightest corners, even when anger is ablaze; a quiet, very personal word will work wonders. As Chazal have taught us - Divrei Chachamim B'Nachas Nishmayim - the words of the wise are heard [best] when spoken gently/pleasantly.)
Translated by Reb Eliezer Weger of Rechovot, a Modzitzer Chasid.
What does Hashem Elokecha ask from you, but to fear Hashem Elokecha and to walk in His ways? (Dvorim, 10:13)
A Dvar Torah from Reb Motti Rosen z"l, grandson of Harav Shaul the Second Rebbe
"Vayigash Eilav Yehudah" (Perek 44:18).
At the end of Parshas Miketz, an expensive goblet is found in Binyamin's sack and Yosef orders him held as collateral. Incredibly angered, Yehudah approaches Yosef to speak on behalf of the brothers. Reviewing Yehudah's dialogue, the Baal Shem Tov Hakadosh finds a number of words that seem unnecessary.
When Yehudah first begins to speak he says "Bi Adoni," please my Master. Why use the word please if he was so angry, the word "Bi" seems unnecessary. Later on he says "Yidaber Nah Avdecha", please let your servant speak. Again the word "Nah," meaning please, seems unnecessary. He continues "Al Yichar Apcha," do not get angry. The word "Al" is unnecessary. The last thing the Baal Shem Tov finds unnecessary is the letter "Chof" before the word "Kamocha."
The Baal Shem Tov points out that the letters that make up these four words -- Bais, Yud, (Bi), Nun, Alef (Nah), Alef, Lamed (Al), and Chof are the Roshei Teivos for these words: "Bameh Yizaceh Nar Es Archo, Lishmor Kidvarecha" (Tehilim, 119:9). These words are a Segulah for holding back your anger. (See the Baal Shem Tov on the Torah for various explanations.)
One can say that Yehuda used these words to help himself control his anger. But we can also see a message here for Yosef. We know that the word "Nar" is generally a remez to Yosef. Also as Yehudah continues to speak he tells Yosef everything that happened, even things that Yosef already knew. "Bameh Yizaceh Nar Es Archo," How can a "Nar" keep himself on the path of righteousness, "lishmor Kidvarecha" by keeping his word. Yosef had asked them to bring down Binyamin and when they hesitated, he gave them his word that everything would be okay. By adding these words, Yehudah was asking Yosef to keep his promise.
Submitted by Chumi Friedman, daughter of Reb Motti Rosen z"l
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